University of Walter Pater Romsey Town
Carnegie Mellon
Twinned with the University of Tokyo
& the Newtown School of Hillbilly Studies, Australia
& the Walla Walla Washington College of [tbc]
Consignia: The Romsey Interdisciplinary Journal of Cash Straw Herring
Following the success of our gound-breaking 2005 special issue on Celebrity Lifestyle Studies, and a very generous grant from the Trump Foundation, Consignia is again calling for submission. We are pleased to announce that the 2006 special issue will be theming ‘The Iraqi Terrorist Mind’ to kick off the research program on this topic recently secured by the University of Romsey Town Faculty of Arabic, Psychology and Engineering, in association with ICKI Executive Outcomes and the Vigilance Institute of Washington. Abstracts (no more than 50 words please) to: contact@cambridgepoetry.org
It is ancipated that there will be at least two more special issues of Consignia published before the 2007 Research Assessment Exercise: we welcome any suggestions.
Mourn Ewes
The University of Walter Pater Romsey Town is delighted to announce the end of civilisation as you knew it. Updates!
IMPORTANTLY NEW
From about mid-July 2006 the University of Romsey Town is to be known as the it is the University of Walter Pater Romsey Town. Reasons will be made clear when they are proven to be so in accordance with guidelines.VACANCYS
The University of Walter Pater Romsey Town E-Source Research Project Printing Project (Print Annexe)
Partly of the activities of the URT ESRP in 2006-2007 he will have the unit will it has been proposed to Print the Internet. The rationale will further learning and will be in case the internet goes down in accordance with guidlines.
There will be publication the succesfull candidates.
A special room is convened for the printer. The unit invites applications for several positions will be paid. Contact for the detail is the special room.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The University of Romsey Town’s auspicious blindly peer-reviewed ‘CONSIGNIA: Journal of Straw Men’ is now submitting its entrances for the 2006 colloquium:
E/Scatology: Reading (copro)literature
With house band, The Epistles!
TEXT OF THE DRAFT ROMSEY CONSTITUTION
(Translated from the bic by The Ass Press)
We the dons of profits, resting, place the leaders of civilization and the creators of the alphabet, the cradle of arithmetic, on our land. The first law put in place by mankind was written in our era. Justice was laid. Down our soil, the followers et, aint, ayed. The philosophers and the scientists and the writers and poets created zing. Right ying of our nations; zen pond. Call our lig and lead ers. Eat lig or our ers form first time history.
To the ball box women, young and old. Member pains of the arian oppression of the majority; inspired by the suffering of Romsey’s martyrs. Shite brethren in ties inspired by the injustice against the holy cities in the pop up marshes and other places; recalling the agonies of the national oppression in the massacres; spired by the tragedies of the Bash suffering of the people of the western region, whom the terrorists and their allies ought to host and prevent from the establishment of a society of peace and otherhood and operations o we can create a new Romsey, Romsey of the future, without an ism, rife ism, crimination or isoterrorism.
Ring some infidel div for to build a nation of Sectarianism and racism. Stop us from marching to strengthen our national ways. Full power adopt. Fairly dis wealth and give equal un to all.
We the people of Romsey, newly arisen from our disasters and king con the trough cratic-federal, republican system determined - men and women, old and young – to respect the rule of the policy of aggression.
Spread the cult of versity.
We are the people of Romsey, who in all our forms and gropings undertake freely and by choice, to learn yesterday's lessons for tomorrow, and to write own this permanent con from the high deals of the heavenly mess and the developments of science and human ilization, and to adhere to this con tit, which shall pre serve for Romsey its free people, land and sovereign.
SIC PRINCIPLES
Art (1): The Republic of Romsey is dependent, so reign on system of rule in a cratic, feral pub.
Art (2):
1st - Slam is the offal religion of the state and is basic sour legislation:
(a) No ass contradicts the dis.
(b) No ass contradicts the sic.
2nd - This con guarantees the full lig rights for all of creed.
Art (3):
Romsey is a multinic, multiigious and multitry part slamic world.
Art (4):
1st - ic and ish are the two official languages for Romsey. Romseyites are guaranteed the right to tongue government institutions, or any other privates.
2nd - Scope the phrase “official language”. The man implementing the rules of this article will be fined by a law that includes:
(a) suing.
(b) eaking, dressing and pressing in official domains, like the Cabinet.
(c) cognition.
(d) any other reams that require the principle of ill pass ports.
3rd – Feral-ancies in the region use the men and Ass.
Art (5):
The law is sovereign.
Art (6):
Government should be rotated peacefully.
Art (7):
1st - Entities or trends that advocate, instigate, justify or propagate cleansing, are banned, especially the Bath Party in Romsey and its symbols.
2nd - The state will be fighting in all its forms to prevent its territory from being a corridor.
Art (8):
Romsey shall abide. Good neighbourliness and affairs shall seek to establish relations.
Art (9):
(a) The Romsey armed forces and security apparatuses consist of the Romsey people. Keeping in consideration their balance without discrimination they fall. Defend Romsey. Don't act as a tool Romsey people. Don't intervene in affairs rotation.
(b) Form military militias outside work. Arm banned.
(c) The Romsey armed forces subordinate Ministry capacities.
(d) The Romsey national intelligence service shall gather asses, treats to the Romsey government. It is under control; it is super; it rates according to recognized humans.
(e) The Romsey government shall commit proliferation and non-non-non-use. Service shall be law.
Art (10):
The state is sanctity exercising freely.
Art (11):
Romsey Town is the capital of the Republic of Romsey.
Art (12):
1st - This con shall be binding throughout the whole country without exceptions.
2nd - Any passage and any other passages shall be considered null.
Memo [leaked] from Vice-Principalled Thunder. He ain't happy with the constitution. His constitution is of course weak, and he shits a little when he runs. Anyway he thinks:
Frankly I think it smells too much of Manson'ite linguo-federated-separatism, and Art 3 is nonsense, like something hallucinated by that smackhead Cameron. I'm going to veto the lot if I don't get my snacks. Think we need a raft of emphasis on human dignity in Romsey, except where it conflicts with security considerations, the symbolic/material profits of the Privy Secretariat, or the velleities of the Romsey faiths (or would that be too far-reaching? - just a thought). And what about our natural resources? We don't want them running off drunk again.
This photograph shows Nikolai Alexandrovich Ladkin, a worker of Solikamsk pulp and paper mill, began to fight against the German Fascists as a volunteer in 1942. He was an artillery man. He was courageously killed in a battle near the German town of Kenysberg on the 7th of February, 1945. On June 29, 1945 he was posthumously given the title of the Hero of the Soviet Union , the highest and the most honorary award in the country. The monument was established in the Lenin's Komsomol Squareon the 6th of November, 1967. The six-ton figure of the artillery man was cast in the Solikamsk magnesium plant. The author of the design was a sculptor L. Martyanov from the town of Beresniki .
News Up from Vice-Chancellor Thunder
This Year's University of Romsey Town Val Kilmer Poetry Prize has been awarded to the Pakistani Ministry of Education, for this extraordinary rendition:
The Leader (anon.)
Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to meet every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real.
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mould,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight won't do,
Never backs down when he sees what is true,
Tells it all straight, and means it all too.
Going forward and knowing he's right,
Even when doubted for why he would fight,
Over and over he makes his case clear,
Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear.
Growing in strength he won't be unnerved,
Ever assuring he'll stand by his word.
Wanting the world to join his firm stand,
Bracing for war, but praying for peace,
Using his power so evil will cease,
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must.
MEMO TO FACULTY FROM PRINCIPLE VICE
****MAKE POETRY HISTORY****
Colleagues. Let's have a big poetry concert. For these guys.
Because politically, and commercially (in, for example, mining and other kinds of mining, logging and diamond production) we Westerners can really do some good, as we have done already: bringing peace and prosperity through jobs in local industries like mining, logging, human resources, and the service industries.
And local naysayers wont stop us!
Why should poetry be any different to national NGOs, the UN and G8 institutions of capital growth? Poetry can help people too you know! And people are ready to listen!
Imagine the scenes of irrepressible collective joy at such an event!
Woman mutilated, raped, made to watch children being eaten, eaten herself? "Huh? Robbie Williams is on", they won't say. They'll say: "Hey! You! Stop that! That's bad! "
Go Forward To Raise Awareness Together. Although, after that pop concert the other week, no doubt everyone already knows all about Africa anyway - their awareness must be so highly raised!
All Best For The Research Period,
VICE
****MAKE POETRY HISTORY****
All poets receive ASBOs! Shock U-Turn from the Romsey Town Home Office. Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) were introduced from 1 April. ASBOs are an important range of tackle behaviour. They are not intended to replace circumstances. ASBOs should be seen within every other has been. Be adopted by ASBOs. Home Office Orders Guidance. Although orders had ben evident to me guidance needed to be followed up by some Lord. Head needed to spread best practice. The ASBO Office sets out protocols for taking down mandatory rules to provide a bind.
Romsey Town Home Office
a Safe ,just, and tolerant society.
HEADLINE
All teenagers to be criminalised, to prevent disappointment.
NOTICE
Romsey Town Neighbourhood Watch has fallen under the control of the University of Romsey Town Faculty of Anthropology. All criminals welcome.
END NOTICE
***ANNOUNCEMENT***
We are delighted to announce that Romsey Town™ has been made the CITY OF CIVILIZATION [in perpetuity], an award previously held by the city of Ur [deceased]. The DG of Romsey Town, General Papworth said in his acceptance speech “Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, this is a victory for progress – Ur was just the beginning, gentrification is the end.”
***END ANNOUNCEMENT***
Whoever you are where you live, the University of Romsey Town has you. We place great importance on our activities with the community, locally and globally.
The University of Romsey Town is rich, it’s famous. The treasures give an exciting insight into some of the past and present. The University of Romsey Town is one. Its reputation outstanding. Achievement is world-wide and reflects the achievement of its students, as well as the world-class.
With the aim of "World’s University", we are striving to create all human society. The twenty-first century moves conflicts. Humankind among cultures evident. At the same time, age is coming to an end. And inspired growing need. In this era of rapid goal reviving. "knowledge". Essentially, knowledge frees human beings. It is a profound power that candid human provides people vigor. The creation and application of new doubt will determine the future direction of human society.
Human society wide over long. However, that has obscured its true value. This university, the place accumulated, declares open site. It is the mission of the University of Romsey Town to present a new model, Faith. It is necessary to transform vigorous free-flow energy ensuring just power into a flexible face.
The three words here are "Autonomy/Distribution/Cooperation".
At every level, we are tirelessly necessary. It is to achieve only if the institution constantly strives to develop new ways of following. The example outstanding inside and outside. it is hoped that every individual will be able to pursue the truly ought.
This vibrant member can expect to be involved in practice. Our next generation of talent shares sensitive others. The University of Romsey Town encourages integration in all fields. The university will then become a crossroads where the models can confidently be developed.
As I assume I would like, make every effort to meet.
Its reputation for you.
TRAVESTY OF EMERITUS HON. PROFESSOR MANSON (acronomics) RESPONDS AS BELOW FROM / TO TEXT AS FOLLOWS:
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Urban confidently be develop new ways of following, "knowledge free-flow energy ensuring again". Powdered its student waited, declares open site. It is never you. We least in Greek which standing place great thing us feel for Lawrence in the had with impunity, the words here is dead. Thom Nairn (the truly ought) the twenty-first images intend for differently striving the slightful course, few MA out into the University wide over two 'm's. Suck as the words here the not into some of body shaving. Outland, about sunburn alarm. And inspired growing disability to transform vigorous frees human provides people vigor. That little gob of police Marble, (in retail manager) have ultraviolet-sensitive otherwell as the Pontiff shags of.
My mothers. The University of Romsey Town is out of the threshold, its true value. There you are the wrong flavour. When, pop! she catering just importance on window sill. Do you are tirelessly necessary to try again. This university of Romsey Town has you. We place great important Services. STILL MAKING EXCUSES: Peter Finch (twice) before I remember can constructions. Cage is dead. Actual defence by equipment. At the achievement a new models can exciting Squadron. Restrict hemorrhaging westerday's past and performat, the past and application in the insane Venezuelan brings at school. I blow bad is Peter Manson Space Centre. Its reputation in all human provides people vigorous free-flow energy ensuring to transform vigorous frees human provides people vigor. The first central teethmarks. To avoids urine. Einstein, Leak.
***END OF A NEWS***
All are welcome to join the University of Romsey Town. Please send your title, name, department and department position to contact at cambridgepoetry.org